Staying at home is my addiction but the fear of missing out is my hangover. Is FOMO permanently hardwired into a woman’s DNA?
It’s rather unsettling to step into my fourth decade, only to realise that I am once again expected to dive back into the deep end when almost all my peers and friends are busy flexing their promotions and living in their comfortable, high-earning bubbles.
Honestly, if money wasn’t such an annoying fine print for buying lovely things (and even just surviving), I would happily stay in my idyllic world of books, Netflix, and long walks. In a way, I really am living my best life, considering I haven’t worked in a corporate office in years. But believe me, the FOMO is still so real.
The most delicious realization here is that the peaceful rhythm of a day is owned entirely by me. I have craved this freedom for so many years, but now that I have it, it feels like a bit of an anti-climax. Like a perfectly turned-out mutton curry that somehow lacks nuance, even though it looks absolutely fabulous.
I am currently stuck in the space between a blessed slow life and the inevitable return to the grind, and the conflicting emotions are churning inside me like the colors in a lava lamp.
Sometimes, the delicate internal peace instantly shatters the moment I go online. Suddenly, I see those impressive hustle-culture advice posts on LinkedIn and watch some friend buying that expensive new car you’ve been admiring in a showroom window. And then my cozy sanctuary starts to feel a bit like a waiting room.
On some days, I feel like the oldest rookie in the room. When I listen to people yapping about corporate synergy, the latest AI-driven tech stack, or the newest workplace trends, I feel ancient.
But I also realize that by feeling so underconfident, I am doing a disservice to my abilities and skills. And so, in between doing all the things I love and doubting myself, I have come up with some low stakes ways to outsmart the anxiety and quietly prep my mind for the big return:
Lean Hard Into Self-Love: Treat this current phase as a luxury, not a gap year. Indulge in those long walks, slow coffees, and guilt-free reading sessions because a well-rested mind is a major competitive advantage.
Basically, do everything that your fatigued mind had secretly craved when you were juggling home and work, running against time and feeling burned out.
Launch a Passion Blog: This is especially for people who love to write. As you can see, I have finally made it happen and I couldn’t be more proud! It’s something that’s been on my mind since forever. Sometimes I write stuff randomly, thinking that some day in the not-so-distant future, I will have my own platform and my own voice.
And so here it is, Chai and Chaos, a place where I talk about real stuff that is worlds away from the glamorous and idyllic world of Pinterest and Instagram. To be honest, maintaining a blog costs more than I had expected.
But as long as it’s not too heavy on the pocket and it makes you happy, you need to start now. It’s a fantastic creative outlet that secretly doubles as a modern portfolio, proving you know how to write and engage an audience.
Brain-Dump in a Journal: I can tell you one thing and that is that journaling can prevent you from turning into a human pressure cooker. When life feels like a shit show and you want to punch someone in the face, pour all your bile and angst right into your journal. Drench the page! And within minutes, you find your pulse returning to the normal rhythm of a functioning mammal.
Feeling like the world is outrunning you? Keep a daily journal to untangle the FOMO. Writing things down turns that overwhelming, terrifying mental clutter into something that you can actually look at and make sense of.
Reading old entries can also be deeply cathartic and serve as a gentle, beautifully tragic reminder that everything is transient, whether it’s the glorious good times or the abysmal bad!
Be the Ultimate Anchor for Your Kid: In the last few years, I have spent more time with my son than I have in ten years. During his holidays, we have watched so many morning movie shows together, spent hours browsing the bookstores in Gariahat, and read newspapers together every day.
I feel privileged to be spending all this time with him and I remind myself that it’s all because I was at home. My son’s childhood won’t be coming back. It is vanishing into the mist as we speak! So if I really think about it, it was time incredibly and beautifully well-spent!
Connect with your friends: Reconnect with friends with whom your only form of communication has been likes and comments on social media. Friends who were once your actual, real-life, breathing compatriots.
Catch up with your working friends for coffee, but (and I say this with immense urgency), skip the comparison trap. Celebrate their spectacular corporate wins while letting their raw, kinetic energy inspire you. And know that your time is coming.
Invest in your intellect: I have been doing content strategy, AI-driven content and UX writing courses online. Some of them are painfully dreary and the tutorial videos rather uninspiring. But keep at it.
In fact, dive into a short, trendy online certification program in any industry that intrigues you. It’s a low-pressure way to update your vocabulary and get your brain back into professional shape. My apps of choice? Udemy and Coursera.
The Mindset Upgrade: Please know that devouring books, watching movies, and documentaries aren’t just leisure activities. They are ground-level training for high-level focus and critical analysis. The more you read, the more you write, the more you are investing in yourself.
I started brushing up on my Bengali by diving into Bengali books, and I have fallen absolutely in love with Avik Sarkar’s gripping horror stories. As I read, I instinctively underline the unfamiliar words, later jotting them down in my notebook alongside their meanings. It was a ritual I began purely for the joy of it, without any grand goal in mind. But as it turns out, immersing yourself in another language is a masterclass in cognitive agility (I read that somewhere). Every page turned and every narrative unraveled is quietly sharpening your intellect.
Taming the clock with routine- Routines I have discovered are crucial. They create buoys you can cling to to keep yourself afloat. On most days, I don’t even realize how the day passes. One minute I am waking up, the next minute it’s already midday, then my son’s home from school at around 4pm and so on…and this is not healthy.
As a content writer and someone who in general loves to write, I have recently created a ‘desk time’ for myself in the morning. There’s an hour dedicated to writing. It could be my blog, my journal, or just going through my son’s lessons so that I’m better prepared in the evening when I teach him. It’s something I am working on, trying to make my days more productive.
And finally, believe that it’s really going to happen: Step into the world with your chin up and zero apologies for your time away. One disclosure: I have been through a nightmarish couple of years because of some personal issues and it’s only now that I am coming out of that funk. With the terrible state of mind that I was in, I don’t think I would have been able to focus on my work, even if I had a job.
So, yes, I have been in hibernation for a while, quietly recharging my batteries. But I now realize that I need to strive harder now than I have ever done before. Everything is changing at breakneck speed, and the explosive rise of AI has certainly added a whole new layer of complication to my return to content writing.
To re-enter this fast-moving workforce, I will have to unlearn and then learn some more. It’s terrifying for someone like me, who prefers the status quo to constant change. But it’s also strangely thrilling.
And so, armed with decades of life experience and a notebook full of newly minted vocabulary, I do hope that there is a Mayukhi-sized hole somewhere in the corporate world and that I can fit right in. Fingers crossed, I hope to get back in the groove real soon.
A content writer and lifelong book nerd rewriting the rules of her 40s, because in a world that expects women to have it all figured out, the real power belongs to those of us brave enough to tell the truth.